I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Vodka?
Forever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
