I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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