Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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