Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
