Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
