my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
