i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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