we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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