Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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