Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
