This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
