Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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