Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
