I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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