I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
