awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
