I just cut my nipple shaving
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
