And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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