It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
