That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
