You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
