Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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