I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
