he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
