She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
