What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My dick has a subreddit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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