Don't you send me to vm
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it's like iHOP with fire
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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