You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i dont even know how to be here
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
