yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
its liver damage thursday
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
