my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
