this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
