Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize