people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
