i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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