dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
