You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
