just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
