he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
