I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
