yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize