I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
whose parrot is this?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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