youre lurking in front of me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
