So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am one with the molecules
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
