this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He had one of those small greek statue penises
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
