ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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