i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
