dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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