i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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