Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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