I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize