I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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