More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
