And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
