I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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