there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
