Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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