Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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