she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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