had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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