I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
