garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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