she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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