Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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