Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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