she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
