she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize