i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
