Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
